Spell

I feel as if my lips were created to fit yours perfectly. I feel as if my body is created just for you. How else could i explain it? Again and again, even after weeks of not seeing each other, i still feel the sexual tension between us. The chemistry that never seems to die. When you touch me, my body felt alive. When you look at me, i get mesmerized, lost in your eyes, when you held me, i could stay in your arms for eternity. My body has a mind of its own when she is in your arms. When you kissed me last night, your wet tongue plunged into the warmth in my mouth, i feel heat rising up in my pussy, in my body. I want more of you. I want everything that you've got. Everything. Its nothing less than magic. My body is just so drawn to you like a piece of steel getting drawn to a magnet. I am completely under your spell. Your kiss is enough to make me lose my control. I feel a lot of promises in your kiss. I feel as if i need you to get me to the next level of being. It doesnt make any sense. But thats how it feels. I need to go there. I want to go there and you are the only one who can take me there. My body is craving your touch, your kiss, your cock. Whats there behind the words? whats there behind your gesture? I can still feel your attraction for me. I feel you want to give me what i want, but at the same time, you're holding back. Perhaps, this will be just a ghost of a dream for me. An unmet desire. Something that will always keep me haunted. haunting me in my dreams. I can only imagine what it will feel like. I can only imagine the promise of your kiss, of your touch. Forever haunting me.

Who am I?

Have you ever felt like you're lying to the world about who you are? Who you truly are? Not some kind of mask or facade you put on every single day for the world to see. The fake identity that you've created for yourself, or think that you are. The fake identity that you have been preconditioned to by your parents, family and society? Have you ever felt that this is not you. Have you ever felt like you want to scream at the world, plead to the world to let you be who you are. To just let you be who you are. You are scared to do this. Because you think it will be too much. People won't like this. You'll lose everything by speaking your truth. Lose your family, lose your friends because they will not like you anymore. You have to pay the price for wanting the truth and to live as one. Are you willing to do it?

Who am i? I was playing communication games with a bunch of people today and i felt an expansion in me.
The blondie said: "I could fall in love with you because you are not a good girl. There is a vicious side of you that you hide from the world and i think it will be fun to try to tame that."
"you are prissy. You act up on this image of a good girl. when you are not."
"I could fall in love with you because you are a caring woman."

Another one said:" you put up a fragile exterior so people cant say harsh words to hurt you."

what i realized is i'm not who i think i should be. My identity is dynamic. Changes with every moment. Will i ever pin it down to just one static self? I'm not sure. Where's the fun in that?

So, I am a bitch. I am messy. I am an emotional mess. I am mean. I am sweet. I am love. I am intelligent. I am vengeful. I am sensitive. I am anger. I am sadness.I am jealousy. I am a little girl. I am vulnerable. I am power. I am passion. I am sexual. I am a slave to pleasure. I am desire. I am happiness. I am not proper. I am not good but also good. I am beautiful. I am hot. I am turned on. I am courage. I am pretty. I am a seductress. I am a delicate flower. I am a geisha. I am feminine. I am crazy. I am temptation. I am connection. I am intimacy. I am intoxicating. I am dangerous. I am trouble. I am shy. I am agressive. I am subtle. I am scared.I am confusion. I am complicated. I am fantasy. I am the forbidden fruit. I am everything that you ever dreamed of.

I have made a decision to be who i am. I have made a decision to stay to my truth. To speak my truth and to help liberate others just by being who i am.

Damn, another hit, another great opening. :)

This whole day, i was still on a high from everything that happened over the weekend. I keep playing the memories inside my mind. The feelings, the wonder and the extreme gratefulness i feel for the universe. Thank you,universe, for giving me the experience. I feel as if my mind is still catching up with my pleasure. When, it doesnt really have to. I just feel good. I feel satisfied, happy and without any expectation. And then, my mind tries to prolong this sensation by creating the wants. Even though, it probably is not what i really want or need. I don't understand my feelings. I really dont. All i know was that, i was happy being with you. and i was so present and aware of you. I was so turned on by you. I really appreciate you for who you are. Its like i worshipped you. There were so many frames from saturday and sunday that i couldnt find the words to write. Its so sweet, so beautiful that i am scared its going to disappear if i write it out. it felt magical, surreal and unbelievable. Your lips on mine. The eyes of passion when you kissed me while i was sitting on the chair. The sense of urgency and aggresiveness i felt coming of you. And yet, i felt like i own the interaction. I felt as if i own my emotions and desires. My body pliant to you. My heart so ready to surrender to you. I think you felt it. Did i inspire your heart's depth? I wasn't thinking. I was so in my body. I let myself looked at you the way i feel. I let my body responds to your touch in its most primal form. I let myself kiss you with all i've got. I let myself feel love for you. Even when you ended up with her. I was honestly confused by the lack of negative emotions in my chest. I felt so clear. I could think of a myriad of explanations for this, but i dont want to. Its just a feeling. Or lack of a feeling for that matter. I didnt feel competition or threat, i feel as if in this game or play that we were in, i feel as if i'm flowing with the play rather than against it. And in that moment of surrendering to the flow, I was actually liberated, and that, i was in control. It didnt even bother me when you talked about the girl you love, your ex or the girl who said no. It was bizarre and it felt unfamiliar, while at the same time, it felt good to own all these sensations.

I dont feel the need to obsess over you anymore. I dont feel the want or need to be the woman who i think you love. I am proud of myself. Proud of the woman i am. Proud that I can receive pleasure, live in the moment of life and taking everything that life offered me. I had so much fun with you, crazy gypsies. I hope we can hang out again. I hope our paths will cross again and we'll celebrate life with total abandon together. Thats what makes me sad. I love these people. I wish i have more of these.I want to hang out , party with them. I can only hope, i can only surrender and embrace whatever the universe is in store for me.

kisses universe, thank you.

A love letter

My dearest love,
I am waiting for you. My heart is waiting for you. Waiting for you to claim me, claim my heart and soul. I gazed up the blue sky today, i touched my heart, and i spoke to you. I whispered loving words to you. My love, I dont know where you are. I dont know when we will meet or how we will meet. But just know that, i will be waiting for you. I imagine the minute your eyes locked into mine. Something will stirred deep within me. An emotion so strong that couldnt be ignored. We'll just get drawn to each other. perhaps we'll get lost in each other, making love, leaving not a single square millimeter skin untouched, unkissed. I imagine how your kiss will taste like. A kiss that melts everything in me, taking everything away, taking my breath away, and gently forcing me to open and surrender. I imagine your strong arms holding me steady and assuring me that you'll catch me. I imagine your scent. A smell of a masculine man; a man who has taste death. A scent of a man who is raw, potent, unsweet but intoxicating. I imagine how it feels when you enter me. A feeling so full that i couldnt help but die in bliss. A feeling of pried open mercilessly to love, taking everything away, but also giving me so much that my heart and soul and body burst with the fullness of it. Lying in your arms, trembling just by the graze of your touch and crying just for the beauty of it. I cannot wait to meet you my dearest love, I will just know. I promise you that when we meet, it will be worth a lifetime of waiting. It will be worth the journey and finally, you will have found a harbor.

Eternal Kisses

Blindfolds

Heightened senses. Blindfolds covering my eyes and yours. Caressing hands on the first one. Feeling and smelling. It was then time to switch. I was apprehensive. What if you were the guy who i didnt like, or who smelled funny, or who was just not attractive? I felt presence. You did smell a little funny, but in my memory right now, you smelled like how a man ought to smell. raw. unsweet and yet, potent. A voice told us to drop the judgments and pretend that we are the objects of our deepest desire. We played, we get into it. our lips were so close to each other, i feel your breath on my lips. Your lips were only less than an inch from mine. we were playing control. See who would break first. I smiled inside, knowing exactly what our play is. My body is instantly turned on and alive, wanting to play, to push , to pull, to surrender, to just dance. i was surprised, you put your hand in between my chest to push me just far enough from your body. No man ever do that to my irresistible charm. I get more excited. we were so close but yet, you restrained me. your hands were insistent. on my back, up and down my arms. slowly, teasingly, building on the tension. my fingers were on your arms, then your chest. I touch you lightly, lightly digging my nails on your skin, making small motion. You body felt young to my fingers. Beautiful body, smooth skin. strong muscles. I could feel your muscles contract. I could feel my power over your body. I drink in the immense pleasure of knowing your body's raw response to my most innocent touch. A smile curled on my lips. You knew, you drop the restraint. Pulling me close again. Our lips were close again. My mind was wondering if we were going to kiss passionately. Anticipation built. I wanted u to want me, to lose it first. And yet, you did not. You held your ground. At one second, i broke and lightly graze your lips. You had full lips, i would love to bite on it, to mold your lips to fit mine. my way. You push me back again and started caressing me. My breast, my chest,fingers running through my hair. I could feel my turn on even more. MY chest heaved up and down, my pulse quicken, i felt my pussy starting to yearn. And then, your hands were on my thigh, my butt, my hips. A voice told us to stop and switch. I let out a word or a smile? Your deep voice said " i think i know who this is." the way your voice sounded, it was so hot. Deep, reverberating, filled with conviction, and i could detect a hint of a smile and smugness in there. Your hands were strong and confident. YOu squeeze my butt and hips. I was even more excited. Something impromptu in the play. Who could have figured out? I responded with a smile of an innocence masking a hotness i now feel in my body"Oh really? how do you know?" and your words of " i just do" made me almost lose control. it was the way you said it with a hint of enjoying the control you have over me and i could just feel your smile when you said it. And a second before we switched partners to continue the game, Your strong hands ran up the curve of my body, from my hips along the side of my body up my ribs stopping just underneath my breasts. While doing that, your sucked in you breath sharply, to the likes of a carpenter running his hands over the leather of his full artwork of a couch. Squeezing strong enough, but yet gentle. A squeeze conveying "i have power over your body, I love your body, I would love to play more.you're safe in my hands." I felt a rush and gasp. You took my breath away. I almost climaxed. we switched. I was left wanting more. I want more. I want more of those hands, and those voice whispering in my ears. I want to taste your lips, and feel the pressure of your body. I could only think of our beautiful dance. It was gorgeous.