This whole day, i was still on a high from everything that happened over the weekend. I keep playing the memories inside my mind. The feelings, the wonder and the extreme gratefulness i feel for the universe. Thank you,universe, for giving me the experience. I feel as if my mind is still catching up with my pleasure. When, it doesnt really have to. I just feel good. I feel satisfied, happy and without any expectation. And then, my mind tries to prolong this sensation by creating the wants. Even though, it probably is not what i really want or need. I don't understand my feelings. I really dont. All i know was that, i was happy being with you. and i was so present and aware of you. I was so turned on by you. I really appreciate you for who you are. Its like i worshipped you. There were so many frames from saturday and sunday that i couldnt find the words to write. Its so sweet, so beautiful that i am scared its going to disappear if i write it out. it felt magical, surreal and unbelievable. Your lips on mine. The eyes of passion when you kissed me while i was sitting on the chair. The sense of urgency and aggresiveness i felt coming of you. And yet, i felt like i own the interaction. I felt as if i own my emotions and desires. My body pliant to you. My heart so ready to surrender to you. I think you felt it. Did i inspire your heart's depth? I wasn't thinking. I was so in my body. I let myself looked at you the way i feel. I let my body responds to your touch in its most primal form. I let myself kiss you with all i've got. I let myself feel love for you. Even when you ended up with her. I was honestly confused by the lack of negative emotions in my chest. I felt so clear. I could think of a myriad of explanations for this, but i dont want to. Its just a feeling. Or lack of a feeling for that matter. I didnt feel competition or threat, i feel as if in this game or play that we were in, i feel as if i'm flowing with the play rather than against it. And in that moment of surrendering to the flow, I was actually liberated, and that, i was in control. It didnt even bother me when you talked about the girl you love, your ex or the girl who said no. It was bizarre and it felt unfamiliar, while at the same time, it felt good to own all these sensations.

I dont feel the need to obsess over you anymore. I dont feel the want or need to be the woman who i think you love. I am proud of myself. Proud of the woman i am. Proud that I can receive pleasure, live in the moment of life and taking everything that life offered me. I had so much fun with you, crazy gypsies. I hope we can hang out again. I hope our paths will cross again and we'll celebrate life with total abandon together. Thats what makes me sad. I love these people. I wish i have more of these.I want to hang out , party with them. I can only hope, i can only surrender and embrace whatever the universe is in store for me.

kisses universe, thank you.