A shift in awareness

I'm realizing a shift in my being these days. I am feeling more than i'm thinking. ANd i'm more aware of the subtleness of my body. my mood and my emotions. I'm feeling a little bit of resentment toward my bf. I'm wondering if he can handle me if i stop holding myself back. I feel like i have been holding myself back from him. My sexuality, my womanhood, my being. I"m afraid that i will be too much for him to bear and that he will leave. I think i've come to a point of decision and commitment that i must speak my truth. I must be my whole being. ANd i cannot be with someone who doesnt let me be my whole being. I"m not sure if this is self imposed. BUt i think i'm going to step it up and play a new realm in all of my relationships. I am unapologetically me. and perhaps this is why one taste has been on my mind lately. Its like a gentle reminder of where i should be feeling. and thinking. Combined with planning my life.

"there came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." anais nin