i am feeling very insecure right now. i need one thing to be certain. one absolute certainty. and i know i'm asking too much. HOw can anyone gave me a guarantee about relationships? HOw? I remembered again, how the pain was. I remembered how it just slits through my heart. The pain. The suffering that could only be released through my tears. I remembered the exhaustion, the death of my own fire. I thought i died. I felt like a zombie, just slugging through life. well, sometimes i wonder if loving is really the best way. I want it so much. I am looking for my happily ever after, and i'm scared. Tonight, was the first time, i really felt the possibility of him and I not working out. The possibility of breaking up and it really hurts. I was genuinely and am sad. I feel like, he's not seeing me in his future. And it pained me because i could . I could see being with him long term. Am i the one who's just so naive and innocent? am i? How can i love someone if I am not sure of the possibility? perhaps, this is not the one. Perhaps, he is not my happily ever after. I must believe that God is protecting me, watching over me. And that whatever happens, i will be ok. I Just ask you for one thing, dear god, Please ..please, be with me during the darkest hour. Dont let me suffer on my own.